Week 4 of summer vacation for my children begins tomorrow. This period is also known as "parental hell" for me. Not that I begrudge them this special time - I don't. I have wonderful memories of my summer breaks as a child riding bikes, sleeping late, and swimming at the local pool. The difference is that now I am the parent.

My mother worked as a teacher up until about five years ago so she was home with us ALL summer long. I have no idea how she did it and remained sane. On second thought, this may explain some of the increasingly bizarre behaviours she exhibited such as muttering to herself incessantly about kids and drinking. All I know is lately a number of my Facebook posts have revolved around my children and their summer activities. Here is a brief sample:

June 7 at 5:48 p.m.
Hhhmmm - I can't decide which is worse: the news from my 2 year old that yogurt is indeed a finger food or the older ones' slip and slide/BMX bike ramp contraption I just discovered when I jumped up to look out the window when I heard one of them yell, "Holy mother of...!" I hate summer...

June 7 at 8:06 p.m.
I guess I also failed to mention that the above mentioned yogurt is also the latest medium for leather sofa art...

June 9 at 5:03 p.m.
The summer adventure continues - as I walk in after work, I see my 2 year old flying through the air as he leaps from the coffee table onto the sofa. Now visualize this: he is wearing a cowboy hat, tie-died t-shirt, a pull-up with a toy cap gun tucked in the side ala holster style, while humming the theme song from "Indiana Jones" in tune and on key. Did I mention that he is 2? How many more days until school starts?

Then there are the summer activities. Good grief! My children need their own personal assistants just to organize who goes where and when. They also need a Swiss bank account to pay for all of this but that's a whole other post. Last week my oldest son, Christopher, went to summer bridge camp at his new middle school. This camp was M-F from 9:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. and was to help acquaint him with the school and the kids in his program and do some academic work to keep their brains nimble. Alex, my youngest, started his camp at the early childhood program he attends during the school year. This camp is M-W-F from 9:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m. My middle child, Simon, attended a one day art session from 9:00 a.m. until 12:00 a.m. and had a play date in the afternoon. Theoretically (and according to the contract I sign every year) I work M-F from 8:30 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. during the summer. Did I mention we were leaving Friday evening to go visit relatives out of town? It doesn't get any better. The future months hold a short family vacation, sleep away camps for the older ones, and visiting my mother - all back to back and in completely different geographical locations. Who ever coined the phrase "the lazy days of summer" clearly never had children!

I used to think my pre-parenting days were busy. And talk about organization! I honestly think that all top level positions in the armed forces should be handled by women. Seriously! Does anyone really think a man could have organized the troops for the schedule listed above, gotten his own work done, taken a statistics midterm for a master's program, packed for the trip, AND colored his hair? Really? Bring it on, Patton! This is no average mom you're dealing with!

Have a great week!