Blessings in every season under the sun

I was just thinking back to how insanely crazy this summer has been. Even friends are inquiring as to whether this is a usual phenomena or have I just temporarily lost sight of my sanity. Clearly, my sanity was no where to be seen when these whirlwind trips were planned and, no, this will NOT become the norm for future summers.

A few moments later, I was ensconced in bed with middle son Simon trying to calm him down enough for sleep. Apparently, my oldest child, a.k.a husband Shelby, decided to pull out the ol’ Sega Saturn and introduce the children to the video game “Earthworm Jim.” Needless to say this wasn’t a calm game played to the strains of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Thanks, honey. Anyway, the light on the fish tank went out so the kids are using a small neon Coca-Cola sign for a nightlight which I swear could be used to land small prop planes. Even in this small amount of light, I have determined that my children and their room could be used for a remake of Sanford and Son. I swear, George and Lamont could walk in at any moment and I just keep waiting for that theme music, “Whacka, whacka, whaa, whaa, whaa, whaa, wha; whaa whaa whaaaa-whaaa…”

As I was lying there in the soft luminescence, I watch the pet gerbil, Jack, run around his cage – up and down the wall, on and off the landing, in and out of the wheel. Wait a minute, I resemble that rodent. It seems that this little rat is the epitome of my life this summer. But why? I’m so busy running around that I can’t see the blessings before me – my kids.

This past weekend, I schlepped my family across Texas, once again, to Fort Hood. I was attending a military survivors’ seminar put on by an amazing group called, T.A.P.S., or Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. These amazing people support the surviving family members of those brave men and women who died while on active duty in this country’s armed forces. Whether the loved one was killed in action, died in an accident, due to illness, or suicide; this group is there.

Just a short history here. My brother wandered after high school until he went rogue and enlisted in the Army (my entire family, both sides, are Navy). After basic he was stationed in Germany with the 16th Engineering Battalion and was called up for duty in Kosovo. While there he became ill and ignored it until it became debilitating. After a visit to a field hospital and a quick flight back to Landstuhl AFB where he underwent surgery, he found he had stage 4 testicular cancer. He was med-evac’ed to Walter Reed Army Hospital where he underwent extensive chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation. The girl that he had somewhat been dating flew up to take care of him and they wound up getting married. After he went into remission and went active again, he was stationed with the 46th Engineering Battalion out of Ft. Polk, LA so his new wife could be near her family. Marital troubles ensued, his unit was deployed to Iraq and he couldn’t go (active duty personnel must be cancer free for 5 years before their next deployment) and he became depressed. He was placed in a civilian mental health institution under suicide watch where he took his own life.

So fast forward to this past weekend. This seminar was an amazingly cathartic experience. Children have a special track called the “Good Grief Camp” where they are teamed up with an active duty service man or woman as well as work with therapists and counselors. There is entertainment each night and on the closing day there is a balloon release where survivors can attach notes to the departed. Oldest biological child Christopher wrote a note to Uncle Frank and we released them together before the family slideshow. There were tears and laughter, pain and joy, loneliness and comfort. But at the end of each day, all I wanted to do was hug my children and my husband. When I finally saw them, I was so overwhelmed by love that I don’t even have the words to describe – look, you guys know me and I’m NEVER without words so this must have been a biggy!

Sometimes I think, in our role as parents, we can’t see the forest for the trees. Of course, we love our children but sometimes the day-to-day facilitation of life gets in the way of really appreciating what we have. Play dates, carpools, dentist appointments, PTO, homework, camp, you name it – we get so mired in what we have to do, where we have to go, and how we can fit everything in to the day that we forget to stop for a moment and say a prayer of thanks for that with which we are blessed.

Perhaps this summer is just the beginning of what our future holds or maybe it is an anomaly. Maybe this is the beginning of the end for this particular era. It is written in Ecclesiastes, “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.” Maybe this is a preview of my time to let go and let my children grow. What ever it may be, it is a reminder that I have been blessed. Blessed with life, blessed with a love who is my husband, blessed with children. Blessed to be an average mom!