Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Secret Passages Within Our House OR Why can’t anyone finish what they’ve started?

Let me just start by staying that last weekend afforded me an epiphany. It was one of those Blanch DuBois, Streetcar Named Desire, “I can always rely on the kindness of strangers,” type moment. Let’s do a back-fill here: for some G-d-forsaken idea, I thought that we could somehow be able to corral our dear little heathens long enough to take them to the model train show at the George R. Brown Convention Center. Let me just say that this particular facility is rather large and, immediately upon entrance, we got separated. Can I also admit, just for a moment, the fleeting feeling that I should really take this opportunity to RUN? Yes, we ARE having fun NOW!!!

After regrouping and planning, we decided to split up according to age-ranges. Shelby got to take youngest Alex to the “Thomas the Tank Engine” booth and I got to take the two oldest to the Houston Children’s Museum booth. This particular booth had an interactive activity in which the children could make these coffee filter/Dixie cup parachute type things then chunk them into a wind tunnel thingy to see if they could float. After doing this little exercise ad nauseum, I had finally had enough and called, repeatedly, for the guys to get a move on and come with me. This grandmotherly woman was standing nearby observing the situation with a grin. In my usual way of dealing with nervous situations, I made a light-handed comment along the lines of swearing that the doctor says their hearing is good. The woman replied that they had selective hearing like most boys. And then, without missing, a beat, she continued, “And then they just grow up to be husbands.” I don’t know about anyone else, but this epiphany lit up the old proverbial light bulb like the Fourth of July fireworks show over the White House. It totally made sense, and if I thought about it for a moment longer, I could almost see my husband as an adolescent boy interacting with his mother. This is what I believe is defined as an “a-ha!” moment.

Once we got home, everyone was assigned their chores for the afternoon but for some unexplained reason, the male members of my family seemed to quote the Lucky Charms leprechaun as they magically disappeared. Here, again, that selective hearing thing must bear examining as surely my little darlings wouldn’t disappear to evade their precious family time? It isn’t just that they seem to disappear, but I have to wonder where it is they go? I mean, my house isn’t that big – we don’t have some rambling mansion with the north and south wings. In fact, we’re squished in on top of each other like a litter of cats. But in some way that eludes me they just disappear. I’m beginning to think we have some type of Harry Potteresque secret door/hidden tunnel type system in our house that can only be accessed by those that posses the Y chromosome. And when do they reappear? The moment I’ve thrown up my hands, dug into the project myself, and have just completed it. *POOF!* There they are. “Where have you been?” “What do you mean?” “Just what I said, where have you been – I asked you to (fill in the blank with assigned task).” “Mom/Honey, I’ve been in the living room – why didn’t you just ask for help if you needed it?” AAAARGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

So fast forward to this past weekend, I left Saturday night to attend a conference in Baltimore. My beloved Shelby was in charge of the children until I got back on Tuesday evening. Before you feel too sorry for him, let me remind you we have a regular, full time babysitter on the payroll so that if anything got out of hand, he had backup. And honestly, a few nights with Kids Cuisine isn’t going to harm the kids’ health. I know, I know – the man’s a chef so what’s up with the Kids Cuisine – but hey, as long as the kids are alive and in one piece until I return, I’m good with it. I talked to Shelby on Monday to find out that youngest Alex had come down with croup again and oldest Christopher missed the bus because he got dropped off late. Shelby was also just looking at the information about the school’s Fall Carnival that had been the previous Saturday and was wondering why he didn’t know anything about it (I had to remind him that we had indeed talked about it several times regarding the fact that I was leaving for Baltimore so if he wanted to take them, he would be flying solo). Tuesday morning I woke up to the frantic phone call from home because middle child Simon informed Dad that there was no school that day and Shelby wasn’t quite sure what to do. After solving all the problems at home, and even some at work, from my hotel room in Baltimore, I packed up and headed for the airport.

Now as I approach my destination, I am already beginning to wonder what lies in store for me when I get home. Did Christopher’s report card get signed and returned? Did Simon eat a good breakfast since today he was taking his standardized tests? Is there food at home or should I stop at the grocery store on the way home? While I am quite sure the house is a mess and I will have a pile of laundry when I return, I have to admit I can’t wait to get home. They don’t often do what they are told or finish what they start but I miss the way they crawl in bed with me in the morning and snuggle. DISCLAIMER: Aside from the last statement, I totally loved being in a BIG bed all by myself with all the pillows and the remote while visiting Baltimore! I miss kissing them good-night and getting the big hugs before we all head of to bed. I even like it when Shelby gets home and leaves a trail of work clothes around the bedroom as he changes. Well, maybe not the clothing. If I could just get that to disappear through the secret passages I’d be set. But I do miss them, unfinished projects and all. That’s what being a family is all about. That is what I signed on for.

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